Annoying Nigerians

First of all this isn’t a rant about all Nigerians, this is my opinion from simple observations and interactions over a long time.  Let me get straight to the point of what I mean when I say ”Annoyoing Nigerians”.

Over the last 20 years I have had many interactions with a lot of Nigerians, some residing in the UK for several years and others only being in the UK for a short time. These interactions came in many forms such as Nigerian employees in the various stereotypical working environments in which they have been known for in the UK, such as Traffic Wardens or the freshen up person in the toilets when you’re in a night club.

Others are students or family men, friends, or friends of friends, either way most of them if not all of them have annoyed me in one way or the other.  

Theirs about 95,000 Nigerian born UK residents, and 50% of the time 100% of them are annoying. I’m not saying I have met all 95,000 of them but im sure that if I did they would annoy me.

Most of the Nigerian born UK population seem to live in London and Liverpool and Birmingham and the rest are in toilets up and down the country selling chewing gum and fragrances or putting a ticket on your car as you read this blog.

The reasons Nigerians annoy me are as follows:

1. They all seem to have a degree of arrogance that surpasses their achievements as an individual. I’m all up for a bit of confidence and pride but they just seem to have a built-in chip on their shoulder.

2. Now im sure this doesn’t apply to all UK-based Nigerians but most Nigerians that I’ve met, I wouldn’t trust them to look after any of my personal belongings, cash, jewellery, house, etc as I’m sure something would be missing when I return, if not the Nigerian themself along with it.

3. When talking to a Nigerian especially the more mature age group and less westernised they seem to suck through their teeth and say ”ah ah” in disapproval to everything that is not to their satisfaction.

4. Some of the woman look ok untill they take out their weave and unveil a hot mess of dead relaxed threads of hair stuck to their no doubt damaged scalp.

5. Some of the guys think if they wear a baseball cap and baggy jeans they can pass of as Americans, not knowing that their big flat noses give the game away.

6. The younger Nigerian male club goers seem to think that by saying ”pssss” and grabbing a girls wrist  is the best way to woo a woman. Then end up going home with a fat blonde that has slept with most of the men in the surrounding back community.

7. All and I mean all Nigerian Traffic Wardens think that they’ve been intrusted with the greatest powers known to man, they have  to carry out their duty to society as if the world depended on it, for every missed parking ticket results in one of their family members being struck down with a terminal illness.

8. Nigerians in customer service roles seem to have no idea of customer service! they come across as rude, impatient, their voice tone is very aggressive naturally and they seem to talk to you whilst looking in another direction and they seem to point with their chins like they can’t even be bothered to raise an arm.

9. Most Nigerians I know love to take, take, take, and when it comes to giving. Well, it never comes to giving.

10. Nigerian woman tend to age very badly, not only  do they get fat they tend to get these strange dark marks on their cheeks like tribal marks, also they tend to shout at their children inappropriately and have no regard for child abuse and social discretion.

With all that said I am aware that a lot of British Nigerians have made successful careers all over the world and in the UK and Nigerian students have a fantastic pass rate that insinuates the drive and the passion to succeed, and this can never be overlooked.

The simple fact of the matter is, their still bloody annoying, and the funniest thing of all is the fact that my parents are Nigerian and ive lived in the UK since I was three, so what does that make me?


Ugly Duckling to Swan to Plain Ugly

Picked on for looking different, abused for looking odd, talked about and frowned upon for not having an ideal bod.

Face was never conventional, physically tried but never seen, always over looked, and comments were always mean.

Time passed and people changed, seasons come and go, for every passing day the light began to glow.

The moon and stars shone down on one and changed the tides for good, then ugly turned to beauty and people understood.

The humble prairs were answered and vanity was the prize, but prizes lead to possible greed and opened up their eyes.

The outer beauty was seen by all, as all they did adore, the beauty set before their eyes will shine forever more.

Divine is never yours or mine, placed only for some time, as beauty fades to those with hideous ways and eyes become clouded with dark days.

The once ugly duckling that blossomed to a swan, was now tainted by vanity and the beauty has now gone.

My Apology

I’m sorry for all the pain and the heartache I have caused, and this apology is long over due.

I’m sorry and I mean it from the bottom of my heart, I admit the problem was never you.

I  thank you for the lives you have given me and the qualities you have shown. You truly are an angel, sent from a place unknown.

I know sorry will never be good enough and I can never give you back your time but you have eternal beauty and with that you’ll always shine.

From now until the day we pass I pray for endless love, for love with no pain shall set you free, to shine from up above.


New Baby Girl

From a part of me to a part of you, a miracle we create.

A new life we present to earth, born in to love not hate.

With my eyes and your nose and mouth, she mirrors beauty at its best, from day one, to provide  is a parents test.

I promise to be around when your happy or sad, through the good times and the bad. When you need a friend or a helping hand, call on your mum and dad.

Love Is Pain

Love is pain, oh love is pain, ive been there once, ill never go there again. 

Love is pain, oh love is pain, I said ive been there once, ill never go there again. 

My friends contradict, they think love is great, some try hard, some leave it to fait.

For me love is pain their two of the same, I’ve tried and cried ill never cry again.

The pain stays with me, it’s never gone for long, sometimes its soothed by a sad love song.

Love is like a unicorn and mystical dragons in flight they don’t exist, so give up the fight.